Protect women now

“Violence (against women) cannot be only a black eye, broken teeth or a bloody nose, it is the insults, teasing, glances, the furious eyes of a man that bore into the soul of a woman, that glare from a brother because his sister may have laughed loudly at a party”
Nov 25 is observed worldwide as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. Promises are made to shame the perpetrators and protect the rights of half the population.
But what of the hidden violence that women in traditional societies suffer, asks Tahmina Milani, a woman’s activist. “Beating is not the worst type of violence against women, the wounds and broken bones heal,” she says. Afghan women just learn to be silent about the everyday violence within families and on the street. “The insults, teasing, glances, the furious eyes of a man that bore into the soul of a woman; that glare from a brother because his sister may have laughed loudly at a party,” she says.
For instance there are no studies or estimates of the psychological impact of patriarchy on women.
Ali Reza Hasani, lecturer of sociology at Gawharshad private university, says Afghan women contend with levels of violence unimaginable to women in many cultures and countries. She has a long list: sexual violence, verbal violence, violence in dowry, forced prostitution, trafficking in girls and women, sexual harassment at the work place, marital rape, circumcision, violence in prisons, violence as a result of conflict, domestic assault, shaming by staring and political violence which targets women in the police or in politics.
AIHRC or Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission has reported 4,259 cases of violence against women in a recent report. Dr Alema, an activist, rues the fact that women who speak up against violence are not supported. She recalls the fate of Bibi Aisha, who was forced into a marriage with an older man to settle a family debt at 12, abused every day and made to sleep with the family’s livestock, till one day she ran away, but was caught and thrown in jail for five months. When she came out, the judge sent her back to her husband who along with some others cut off her nose and ears as punishment. She was left for dead, but was found by American aid workers who flew her to the US, where doctors have given her a new nose after a series of operations.
For every Aisha, there are countless other victims of domestic attacks who have no money for surgery or treatment, or a chance to escape from the harassment into women’s shelters.

Unyielding patriarchy
Women activists fear that Afghan women are so programmed to abuse by patriarchy that until the knife doesn’t reach the bone, they don’t open their mouths and protest. As Tahmina sees it, “patriarchy is all pervasive and male violence is viewed as natural. Women think it is a woman’s fate to go to their marital home in white (as a bride) and return home wrapped in white (shroud).”

Can Afghan authorities enforce the January 2015 Law on Elimination of Violence Against Women that was passed by executive order by the then president? Activist Tahmina is aghast that there are judges who advice women not to complain when they are beaten and turn to the court for justice. Member of Parliament (MP) Gulalai Safi urges the government of national unity to intervene without fail. Incidents of so-called honour killings that are happening even in Afghanistan’s big cities are equally a blot on the government.