Findings of Killid show that some families hold a celebration when a boy is born, but when a girl is born, they are disrespectful to the baby and its mother.
Women from different parts of the country say that in addition to being neglected and ignored, they are also subjected to violence by their families.
Sakina, resident of Bamyan Province, says that when her pregnancy was diagnosed that child was a girl, the behavior of her husband’s family changed completely.
“My husband was the only boy of the family, and my mother-in-law wanted her grandson to be a boy, but when I got pregnant and it became clear that my child was a girl, the family treated me very badly.”
She adds that no one even took her to the doctor during delivery caused losing her child.
Samia from Herat province says that she has always been insulted, humiliated and even beaten by her husband for daughter’s birth.
“I have three daughters, because I don’t have a son, I am always blamed and beaten by my husband and family. My husband has repetitively said that he will marry another woman to have a son.”
Abandoning of Daughter and Wife at Hospital
In the capital city of Kabul, at Rabia Balkhi hospital, we met a mother whose husband left her and her daughter because of giving birth to a girl baby.
This lady’s name is Roqia and she says that she has given birth to five daughters and no son. She has always been hated and even orally and physically abused by her family for giving birth to girl, adds:
“This time, when my husband heard that our child is a girl, he left me alone here at the hospital. Now, I need medicine; however, there is no one to bring it to me.”
On the other hand, Dr. Malali Rahim Faizi, in charge of Malali Zizhenton Hospital in Kabul, confirms that she has encountered many times that some people want to leave their baby girls at the hospital.
Faizi also says that during his personal work (in the examination room) he has met families who, after a laboratory examination, told them that their future child is a girl, they asked for medicine to abort their future child; but he did not accept this and advised them not to do this.
“Medically and according to the law of the Ministry of Public Health, no one should say anything about the child’s gender to his/her family, even in the ultrasound reports, there is no gender section and it is not written, but because Afghanistan is a traditional society, when a mother comes to examination, before the examination’s completion, her husband wants us to tell him whether the child is a girl or a boy?”
Divorce Due to a baby girl
Dr. Razia Shidai, in charge of gynecology and obstetrics department at Kunduz regional hospital, says that she has seen many times women who have given birth to a baby girl face violence and disrespect of their families. In her opinion, sometimes a woman who repeatedly gave birth to daughter is even divorced by her husband.
“Many women are not happy to bring a baby girl because they are under pressure from their families. In some cases, we have witnessed the separation of the husband and wife, we have even seen that the father of the family left the mother and the baby girl at the hospital. Such heartbreaking incidents cannot be ignored.”
Mohammad Anwar, one of the doctors in Khost, says that discriminatory behavior towards girls has bad consequences for them. This is the reason why they suffer from various mental diseases.
“Girls are treated in a discriminatory way. It is said among people that girls are deposit of others family. Most of these girls face mental and emotional problems. I have witnessed many cases of this kind of behavior. Discriminatory behavior should not be done by mothers and parents.”
Women Have No Role in Determining Gender
Dr. Malali Faizi, in charge of Malali Zizhenton Hospital, says that people should not behave violently because his wife does not give birth to a baby boy. For women have no role in this field.
She adds: “Human structure is initially formed by chromosomes. If women have similar chromosomes (X, X) and men have chromosomes (X, Y), when the X chromosome of a woman is fertilized with the X chromosome of a man, in this case, the gender of the child will be determined girl. When the X chromosome of a woman is fertilized with the Y chromosome of a man, the child will be a boy. In this sense, we can say that both the female chromosomes are similar and the woman does not have any role in birth of a male child, but the man has a role.”
In addition to all this, Nurullah Kausar, a religious scholar, says that if someone get sad after the birth of a daughter, it is ignorance. Kausar adds: “Allah (SWT) says that whoever desires a daughter, whoever desires a son, some will give both a son and a daughter, and if he wills, he will make anyone barren… A daughter is a blessing of the Almighty Allah (SWT)… It is said in the hadith that if a girl is born in a house, Allah (SWT) will send two mercies and blessings on that house, and if a boy is born, one blessing will be sent down from heaven.”
Marriage; Men Have the Right of Choice, Women Do Not; Why?
Not only girls face unkindness and discriminatory views of gender from some families during their childhood, but also in relation to their marriage, the families do not see them the same as boys.
According to a number of girls, families take their opinion on the marriage of boys and allow them to choose their own wives, but there is a discriminatory view on girls and they give them to their husbands to meet their financial needs or That they do not take any opinion in marriage.
Farhat says from Kunduz, families themselves choose life partners for their daughters, without asking the girls’ opinion. But boys have the right to choose their life partner.
“In our family, my brother is more valuable than me. Wishes of boys in families are fulfilled more than girls.”
However, some women say, their marriage only not was done by their own will and consent, but they were given to their husbands as collateral against the family’s debt.
Maryam, 17-year-old resident of Daikondi province, says: “I was in the eighth grade of school, my father was in a lot of debt and he didn’t have money to pay off his debts. Because I was a girl, he gave me to his debtor’s son without asking my opinion.”
She adds, now her father-in-law treats her like a purchased item and she has no authority in her family life.
“My in-law’s family does not avoid any kind of oppression on me and I am not allowed to go to my father’s house.”
Discrimination of Women Against Women
Despite that girls and women complain about discriminatory views of men, some of them say that discrimination against women is so rooted in the society that women are also shared in this phenomenon with men.
Laila is a girl who was forced to leave home twice due to her step mother’s discriminatory and violent treatment for no purpose. She says that since her father took a second wife, her life has become bitter.
“Since my step mother came, our misery has started. She was ill-treating us and my emotional state was hurt and I was trying to get lost from here completely.”
Aziza is another woman who faces unbearable discrimination and violence from the men and women of her family. She says, everyone mistreats her because she is a woman, if she was a man, even the women in the family would treat him right.
“There have been times when I have been hungry for days and they have not given me anything to eat.”
Of course, there are not less cases of women being victims of gender discrimination in Afghan society. For instance, we can mention the case of Nikbakht. Nikbakht had spent 25 years in his brother’s prison in a dark room in Kabul, was recently released by the police. She was divorced due to not having children and had come to his brother’s house, but she was unaware that she is spending half of her life in her brother’s prison.
During all this time, the ears of all the family members, even tribe of Nikbakht, including her women of relatives and women of her brothers, had become deaf and their eyes were blind about her. On the day Nikbakht was released from his brother’s prison and the police arrested his brother, despite this cruelty, her words about her brother showed sympathy and pity. The same brother who deprived her of the sweetness of life and imprisoned her in a dark room for almost 25 years.
Muhammad Hanif participated in the rescue operation of this lady as a police officer, says that he produced tears that day when he saw Nikbakht.
“In my whole life, I have never seen such cruelty that happened to this sister. When I came to see this situation, I cried.”
Men Get Inheritance, Women Don’t, Why?
Along with other discriminatory behaviors and views against women, they also face discriminatory behaviors regarding the right of inheritance. Why only men benefit from the heritage of their fathers and ancestors and many women are deprived of this right, in religious scholars’ opinion, the right of women’s inheritance is clear in Sharia law and their deprivation indicates gender discrimination.
Amina, 27-year-old, resident of Zabul Province, says that her brothers have refused to give her the right in heritage and their case has gone to court.
“My request from the Islamic Emirate is to cooperate in providing women’s rights and resolve our case as soon as possible. It has been several months since I filed my case, but it has not been resolved yet.”
Meantime, Fatima, resident of Lal and Sar Jangal district of Ghor province experience a lot of poverty, says that it is not custom among the people for a daughter to benefit from her father’s inheritance.
“In tribe’s opinion, it is not a good thing for a girl to take her father’s inheritance, because it causes distance and controversy among families.”
Nooria, resident of Kabul Province, also asks the government to support women in the field of inheritance and not let this right become a victim of gender discrimination.
“My father had a very good life and left behind a lot of property. When he died, he left me some land along with my brothers, but my brothers did not give me that land. Several times, our arguments were moved to court. But because I’m a woman, I didn’t get any results.”
One and a half years ago, the leader of the Islamic Emirate issued a six-article decree on giving women’s rights. In this decree, it is emphasized on providing the right of inheritance and marriage of young girls with their own consent.
Sons Should Study, Not Girls, Why?
In addition to the cases that we have listed from the beginning, a number of girls claim that their depravation from studies and education in the current situation is also rooted in gender discrimination, otherwise, what is the reason that the gates of schools and universities are closed to girls and it gradually changed to a wound that treatment has not yet reached the stage of diagnosis.
Zahira, who had just entered one of the country’s governmental universities, but was prevented from studying due to the suspension of girls’ education at universities, asks why they should be deprived of education.
“Why should we be deprived of education and why should we not be able to learn knowledge? Is it not because we are women and we face gender discrimination? I studied for the entrance exam with huge difficulties and I was hardly able to enter university, but now I do not have permission of study.”
Meanwhile, Nadia, resident of Khas Uruzgan district, says that she was the only girl in the village who provided education for girls, but her local education class has been blocked and now she is not allowed to do educational activities for women.
“I had organized a literacy class for girls in the village with many efforts, but our class was canceled and we were not allowed to continue the class.”
Educational restrictions based on gender have made life bitter for many girls.
According to a UNESCO report, 1.1 million girls and young women were denied access to formal education after restrictions were imposed on Afghan girls’ education.
UNESCO added that with the closing of university gates to girls in November, 2022, one hundred thousand female students were prevented from going to governmental and private universities.
What Is the Solution and What Does Sharia Law Say?
All kind of gender discrimination against girls and women from childhood to over-age is tied with this layer, while the government officials and religious scholars consider these differences to be against religious thoughts and orders and this phenomenon is considered just ignorance.
Akif Mohajir, the spokesperson of Ministry of Promoting Virtue, Preventing Evil, says that any discrimination between boys and girls is against the Islamic Sharia and those who behave in this way, they are not benefited from the guidance of the Islamic religion.
Mohajir adds, this ministry implements the orders of the leadership of the Islamic Emirate regarding the observance of women’s rights, include the right of inheritance, prevention of giving in return of bad (the murderer’s family gives a girl to the victim’s family) and other rights.
“Ministry of Promoting Virtue, Preventing Evil has ordered the relevant directorates of this ministry in all provinces to prevent violence against women and their rights.”
Meanwhile, Maulawi Fazal Rahman Rahmani, sub-director of urban of Promoting Virtue, Preventing Evil of Kunduz directorate, says that families should not discriminate against girls.
“We go to all mosques and talk to the people about giving inheritance to girls. Also, giving girl in return of bad is a bad tradition that was popular in our country before and now it has decreased.”
Meantime, a number of religious scholars emphasize that men and women have the same rights in Islam and there is no place for any discrimination in religion. Maulawi Ruhollah Rahimi, one of the religious scholars, says: “Women’s rights, whether social, education or inheritance, are all specified and no one can reduce or increase them.”
Religious scholars emphasize that educated and informed mothers create an informed society, and education is the right of both men and women, and discrimination shall not be lawful in this regard.
“In the field of education, the Prophet (PBUH) says, pursuit of knowledge is an obligation on all male and female Muslims. It means, pursuing of knowledge is obligatory on men and women.”
On the other hand, Dean Mohammad Zaland, Professor of Law and Political Science, says that based on human rights standards along with Sharia Law, women should not be discriminated.
“The common point between men and women is human dignity, Allah (SWT) has mentioned that in the Holy Quran. In many cases, women and men have the same rights and freedoms.”
Civil activists say, patriarchy in society has caused gender discrimination and this behavior has gradually become part of people’s culture.
In his opinion, until awareness in this field and level of literacy and knowledge of people are not increased, and disastrous effects of this phenomenon such as anxiety, depression, humiliation, lack of self-confidence, inability to make decisions are not discussed about, it would be far away to witness significant progress in this field.
Translated by Muhammad Yousuf “Zakir”
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