Results of dowry

Dear readers! Greeting to you, we have prepared a roundtable on results of dowry through program of Campaign for Change of the Life of Killid radio.

Our guests for this roundtable are: Mrs. Jamila Stanekzai the law defendant in Afghnaistan Medica Organization, Mrs. Del Afroz Zeerak the member of Mirman(lady) Cultural Trend, Mrs.Aziza Jalis the assistant of women’s Affairs committee in Parliament, Mrs. Maryam Zurmati the assistant director of Women’s Affairs Committee in Human Rights Independent Commission Regional Office , first i would like to ask Mrs.Jamila Stanekzai about the conditions and principle of the marriage:

Answer: Mrs. Stanekzai: The marriage is a contract and relation between a boy and a girl that places by affirmation of boy and accepatnce by the girl, two man or four women must be present as witness during matrimony and a Muslim must tie their matrimony who knows much about the issues related to matrimony.

Answer: Mrs.Zeerak: I also want to express my views about, as Mrs. Satnekzai told conditions for the marriage are first affirmation and acceptance, then presence the witnesses, specifying the marriage-portion and finally the fourth condition is the joining of the couple.

Question: Mrs.Jalis! As you know many of our countrymen complain from expenses that occur in matrimony and in marriage have you showed any action against?

Answer: The article number 54 of constitution has stated that the government would prevent indecent customs and high expenses in the marriages so we have prepared a draft with cooperation of ministry of justice to prevent the high expenses and dowry in the marriages that work is going on the amendments of some of its articles.

Question: Mrs. Zurmati! What do you think is not the trampling upon of the right of satisfaction of a girl her selling when a family gives her sister or daughter to other family?

Answer: It is a fact, when a girl gets married an amount of money is gotten from boy family which is not at all useful to girl rather it can be detrimental to girl. The detriment would be that when a boy marry and his family did not had economic ability so the family had to send his newly married to abroad or inside the country to work to earn the money that had been spent for dowry, so now you think what would be the condition of girl in the house of her husband? Would she not be treated as sold existent, so all these indecent customs that are common in our community and our countrymen should be avoided..

Question: As you are a law defendant has it happened that a woman has complained to you before or after marriage and what could be the reason for the complains?

Answer: We have faced frequently with cases that the girl complain before the marriage and the woman after the marriage for absence of her husband, when we have researched the issue the imposing of dowry from girl’s family on boy’s family is the main reason, you believe that a boy may have left the country and is living out of the country as a fled person he doesn’t return even by continuous negotiations, so we cannot defend properly the damaged girl due to lack of evident which is worrying issue for us.

Question: Mrs.Jalis can you tell me how much should be spent for marriage expenses and dowry in your province and which areas have the same customs?

Answer: Generally wherever the government is weak and level of awareness is low the customs overcome as our province Sarpol is one of these province where the people spend lot of money on marriages and get a large amount as dowry which is illegal and against the Sharia law.

Answer: Mrs. Satnekzai: I would also like to tell you that I have seen in Oruzgan province that they consider the girl as goods/material as when the harvests of opium are good the prices/dowries of girls are also high but if the harvest of opium is not fine the prices/dowries of girls are also low which shows the unawareness of our people from Islam and laws that needs a lot of work to be done there to prevent the mentioned customs.

Question: Mrs.Zeerak! What is the reason for getting the dowry, is it a need?

Answer: I think there is not any need for getting the dowry and the only reason is lack of awareness from the marriage-portion, when a girls gets married or a matchmaker goes to a house to request a girl the family of girl shows a list of expenses to the boy family without getting the information regarding the family of boy and tell if you can afford these expenses we agree that our daughter marry with your son otherwise you can go somewhere else, so there are many problems similar to this that our people are affected by indecent customs.

Answer: Mrs.Zurmati: I think there are many factors for dowry, first as our country is faced with poverty and economic problems so they see their girls as a source of income so they get big amount to solve their problems, the unawareness of people from Islamic principles and guidance is another factor as we claim the Islam but we don’t put the Islamic rules in practice, the discriminative mentality with families regarding the boys and girls is another factor namely the people honor their sons and spend money on them and think that the boy will help father so they provide ground for his education and other activities that bring the tranquility to the family but the case is contrary about the girls as the families  think that the girl is property of another family why expenses should take place on her and why ground of education be prepared for though they have forgotten that Islam has forbidden any discrimination between the son and daughter so the father and mother should not put difference between the son and daughter .

Question: I would like to ask all of you that what are the results of the dowry?

Answer: Mrs.Jalis: I should say that taking the dowry would prepare the ground for corruption and violence in the family and would make the good life of the families very bitter.

If a family take high dowry it will create mistrust in the family, the boy has to get loans to pay the dowry money so when he marry he has to go out of the country and do onerous works to earn money to pay his loans .

Just earlier one of our countrymen told me about one of his relatives had died during work due to collapse of a building in Iran, the family spent 8 million of Rials to get his body back after enduring many problems so many of countrymen go out of the country to get money to pay the dowry loans but they face numerous problems there.

Answer: Stanekzai! Before I express my view about the dowry I would like to give information about the marriage-portion, the marriage-portion is the financial right of a Muslim woman that is specified during the matrimony the amount for marriage-portion is 10 Sharia Dirhams but if the man can specify higher dowry for his wife there is no obstacle about in Islam, the prophet Mohammad (PBUH) has told, “ The marriage with less expenses is the best marriage, but the dowry is a separate issue that causes the divorces and separations in the families.

The 30 years of wars also faced the people with migrations so when they return back to the country they have the customs of other countries and may have forgotten their ancient and good customs and see the girl as a cheap goods/materials and marry with girls against the dowry, the family of the would give the girl against the dowry and may be happy that their girl would have a comfortable life in abroad though they may have not thought about the ethics and knowledge of the boy so the families must know about and avoid.

Answer: Mrs.Zurmati! the dowry is big factor for violence in the families, see when a man goes out of home to other country or to other area of the country to get the money to pay the loans of dowry he would face numerous problems there due to un-acquaintance with rules in other countries that goes to, on the other hand his wife would live without husband so her behavior would be changed due to spiritual and psychological pressures so if she misbehave with the family of the husband the family of the husband would also perpetrate the violence and misbehavior against her, so the woman in fact faces many problems as the woman lives in Afghanistan and on other hand became victim of indecent customs and the community does not let her to go out of the house, the family also cannot support her because they have already gotten so the woman perpetrate self- killing, self-burning, throw herself from a high place or she flee from the house so when she flee, the flee would cause her death or she would be in control of smugglers which is a big problem for her.

These were the individual indecent results, if we study the social results this situation would create problems for both families as all people would taunt both families or some people would say that the woman had illegal relations with others so she burned herself or fled, so all these are the results of dowry.

Question: Mrs.Zeerak how we can prevent the custom of taking the dowry in the community to repel the problems?

Answer: I should say that even if the husband doesn’t go out of the country and work inside the country to earn the money for paying the loans of dowry he would be angry on his wife or her family when he returns back home for paying the dowry money, he would misbehave with his wife, in this situation their children would also grow with knots and don’t  feel themselves responsible against the community so to solve the problem I suggest the raising of awareness of people on Islam , law and each other’s rights. The end.