Mass weddings organised by charitable organisations are proving a boon for Afghan youth.
With hundreds of young men facing the prospect of bachelorhood because they simply cannot afford the extravagant dowries and marriage ceremonies, families, religious authorities and Members of Parliament have enthusiastically endorsed the practice of mass weddings where several couples tie the knot simultaneously.
Huge wedding expenses are a serious social problem. Many young men have been forced to migrate in search of jobs to save money for dowries that could be 600,000 Afs (8,700 USD) and more. Last year, both the Senate and Parliament approved a law banning exorbitant wedding celebrations.
The possibility of marrying at very little cost is a relief for anxious couples and their families.
Sayed Elyas Husaini was married at a mass wedding facilitated by a charitable organisation last year. Now the couple have a child. “I had many dreams of my own wedding ceremony,” he says, “but participating in a collective wedding has meant that I did not spend much money. That was important for me, also morally.”
He says it was his fiancée-now-wife who encouraged him to consider a mass wedding. “We were engaged for three months when my fiancée asked me for my NID (national identity card), and insisted we put our names down for a mass wedding,” he says. He believes women can play a major role in reducing the prohibitive costs of an Afghan wedding by insisting on simplicity. “I was not aware of it (mass weddings) at all but when I heard from my fiancée it made me so happy,” he recalls. “I wish all girls (of marriageable age) think about morals instead of materials.”
Husaini, a daily wage worker, spent 19,000 Afs (275 USD) on his wedding. “If there was no practice of mass weddings, I could never have married because of my financial situation,” he says. “I would have been deep in debt and other problems,” he adds. He has a word of advice for young Afghans: Save money for the future, don’t blow it up at a wedding.
Modern woman
Killid spoke to Husaini’s wife. She says she had never been “partial” to extravagance, and with her family and uncles encouraging her, she spoke to her fiancée. According to her, the decision to have a mass wedding has provided “solace”. “The important thing that I got was solace. Had I not participated in a collective wedding I would not have solace as I would have had to endure financial problems for years. Now we have a peaceful life and the loan collector will not be coming around to ask for money.”
Meanwhile, Saied Qasem, married along with many other couples two months ago, says as a daily wage worker, earning only 300 Afs (4 USD), “had there been no mass weddings, I would have had to go to Iran to find the means to marry. There was no other way!”
An estimated 90 percent of young Afghans find traditional weddings prohibitively expensive. Many families are seeking assistance from charities as well as traders who wish to be philanthropists. “Collective marriages are an accepted and good custom, very beneficial for youths with economic problems,” says Saifullah from Ghazni. “This custom encourages youth to eschew extravagance at their wedding.” He says there have been at least two mass weddings for hundreds of young couples in Ghazni.
Mohsen Danesh, member of the religious council in Balkh, says the weddings meet with religious approval. “They are Islamic as well as human, putting no burden on people,” he says.
According to Asadullah Yusufi, the Hazrat Abulfazel Abbas Foundation, a charity, has organised wedding feasts for 400 couples; also, each couple was given gifts of 42 items, like carpets and dishes, to start a home.
Rigid custom
Many young men Killid interviewed said ordinarily a man would need 2 million Afs (29,200 USD) to fulfill all the demands made by the family of the bride. Mohammad Matin, a resident of Ghazni province who married a year ago, says he paid “1,200,000 Afs (17,470 USD) as dowry” to his wife’s family. “I am still in debt. Nowadays dowry is never less than 600,000 Afs (8,700 USD), and providing it is difficult for young men. Then there are other expenses like the bride’s clothes, and the wedding expense. It is all way beyond the average salary of 6,000 Afs (85 USD).”
In Herat province, Anisa describes dowry and exorbitant wedding expenses as an “indecent custom”. The problem is that for many families, the amount of dowry decides their social standing.
Ali Reza, a resident of Ghazni, was engaged to a girl four years ago, but he has not been able to put together a dowry to marry her. “The dowry decided on is 500,000 Afs. There is also the additional cost of wedding expenses,” he explains.
Mahrukh Yusufzai, head of the department of cultural, economic and social affairs in the Ministry of Women’s Affairs ministry condemns the practice of expensive weddings. “The ministry has held mass weddings in the provinces of Kabul, Herat, Parwan and Balkh with the help of national traders. Each time some 50 couples have wed,” he says.
Follow TKG on Twitter & Facebook
